Tricky title, isn’t it? But how many times have you tried to catch them sneaking around, texting whomever that stranger only to then have them turn around and blame you for being paranoid? Probably too many times to keep track of, or at least more times than we care to count.
It’s hard catching a cheater in this age of convenience and powerful electronics, everyone has a phone in their pocket then can pull out and reach out to whoever they want at any time. That’s why we’re about to go over some ideas which might help you figure things out and hopefully turn it all around before it’s far too late. Let’s get started.
They’re exploiting your trust
It’s a sad thing but cheaters like to use your own sense of trust against you as a tool. They know that if they make you feel bad for checking up on them then they can buy a little more time to figure things out, be it to keep sneaking around behind your back or to close off loose ends and stop before it’s too late.
Now, it’s easy to get upset at this and want to lash out but the fact of the matter is that we’re all human and we each share similar feelings inside ourselves. How many times have you felt trapped only to finally just shrug it off and say “forget it” then you just go and do something easy to make yourself feel better… that’s usually what cheaters are doing. The ones who aren’t addicted to cheating only for the sake of cheating often times back themselves into a corner and feel trapped, they don’t know how to get out of it so they just take a leap and wind up doing things the wrong way.
Instead of talking to you, their loved one about how they feel (often times because they are scared of how you might react) they just sneak around and end up in a secondary relationship. It’s a harsh reality but it happens this way far too often and although it’s never an excuse it is easier to understand their point of view once you get this idea of they’re cheating out of fear. Of course what this also means is that they now know what it feels like to be afraid and know if they turn that feeling back around on you that you’ll end up crippled too.
Exploitation of trust from those we care about is one of the easiest things to take advantage of which makes it an incredibly powerful too for any cheater or anybody who is thinking to cheat in the future. Once that sacred trust is broken it becomes so difficult to regain it, but thankfully not impossible… it only takes time.
What are the actual signs of a cheater?
There are many and not all of the possible signs from one person necessarily means they’re actually cheating, you just just be in love with an eccentric person and that is perfectly okay. There are typically five main categories of cheating and each falls into a specific state of mind and emotion, these are as follows:
- They feel trapped but something keeps them coming back
- They love both you and someone else
- They don’t want to hurt you but do want out
- They don’t care if they hurt you and just want out now
- They’ve already commited a physical act of infidelity
When dealing with one or more of these five main states it’s necessary to be aware of which one is at hand. Dealing with one may require different measures than dealing with another and if handled in the wrong way could push them over that line they maybe haven’t even crossed yet. For instance let’s say that maybe your partner is feeling trapped for whatever reason but hasn’t yet done anything about it, they’re only thinking about it for now. Well, what if you approach them as if they’ve already jumped in bed with somebody and they’re now left feeling as though it doesn’t matter… you’ve heard it before, people often say “well if they already think I’m cheating then I may as well just cheat!” but it doesn’t have to be that way.
How can you catch them?
The most reliable way if it’s not too late is a simple conversation, be either by verbally communicating face to face or by writing them a heartfelt letter… just keep the letter short because they might look at pages and pages of hand-written text and decide to not bother reading it. A single page, one side only of clearly legible text which states how you feel and what you wish to happen. Do not throw allegations at them in this letter, save that for the face to face conversation as that will be the next step… the letter is only meant to be a bridge that will hopefully get them to soften up a bit and actually want to talk to you.
If talking / writing a letter doesn’t work then you’ll have to resort to fighting fire with fire, or in this case technology with technology. There are apps and softwares out there which can help you to spy on your spouses texts messages and phone calls. They help you track down hidden social media and dating website profiles as well as offering the potential to maybe dig up other information on anybody which may be openly available in the public domain but simply not available except for when properly searched for… and do you know how to search for such sensitive details on your own? Chances are high that unless you are a private investigator you don’t.
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