We fall in love because we fall in love. Most people can hardly tell for sure how it all happens. You just meet someone and your heart gets drawn to them. While it seems effortless to fall in love, maintaining the fire in a relationship is often hard.
First Thing First
The first point of our failure usually is forgetting what we have. It’s funny that we can give up anything to find that love yet we want to give up nothing to keep it.
Always remember why you fell in love. Do not let it seem normal or irrelevant- It is a big deal that you were drawn to your spouse. You neglected everybody else just to stay with this special person.
That special something you saw in your love is a place you need to go back to whenever you are starting to forget how special your love is.
What happens when you keep magnifying your partner’s faults is that your perception of them starts to change and the love will always be a casualty. It’s possible to find something positive in your spouse even after a fight, and of course this is not to say fights are good in relationships in the first place – rather a different perception of him/her could be the only thing needed to put a stop to the fights. The magic is to focus on what your partner does right.
See, our partners are our rocks. Often they are besides us in our toughest of battles. This is more prominent in situations that strip us of our confidence, motivation and dignity. In truth, besides our parents, our partners are the only ones who can see us in our nakedness and still love us.
A good way to inspire positivity in our relationships is to appreciate the little things our partners do – could be as inconsequential as finding us socks when we are late for work, warming our foods when we return late, reminding us to grab our keys when we don’t seem to remember, or rubbing our feet when we’re tired.
Relationships ordinarily function like spring balls. Often our partners reciprocate what we give. If love is what we give, love is what we get. If positivity is what we give, similarly we get positive energy. If however we chose or find ourselves hating one another or being negative, it’s highly likely we will attract similar energy.
Building Strong Relationships
This is why it is up to us to build strong relationships based on love and happiness. The psychology here is to develop a habit of appreciating one another. Often the more one is grateful about their partners’ amazing actions, whatever little, the more they appear wonderful.
In summary, negative energy is combatted with positive energy. We are humans and we are not perfect. Whereas we may seem to advocate for mediocrity by encouraging us to overlook imperfections, we stress more on change. This is why we tell couples not to look for perfection but willingness to change.
The other secret to more positivity in our relationships is to celebrate growth and improvement our partners make and to appreciate their efforts while at it. Better is a spouse that is teachable than one pretending to be perfect and lying to keep up the ruse. Finally, you could also work on making your partners better versions of themselves besides changing your perception of them.