Chances are there’s a number of men and women reading this who have caught their spouse cheating. What might follow that discovery is the feeling of grief, anger and maybe even panic once the thought of “what could this mean for our children” pops into your head.
What do you do when you catch them cheating? Often times the knee-jerk reaction is to just kick them out and send them away as far as possible. Question is, is that always the right decision to make? Each case is different and infidelity happens in many ways so it must be handled on a case by case basis.
It’s ok to let yourself feel it
It’s ok to let yourself feel the anger and pain. Feeling sad is part of the process so go ahead and let it out. Cry, wail, go off for a long drive and scream your heart out in your car. Feeling that pain is the first step in the process of healing and it’s important to let it happen so you can overcome it in a healthy and productive way, not a destructive way.
Share what you feel
Talking to your trusted friends and close loved-ones is never a bad idea in times of need and emotional support. It might take some time but eventually you’ll feel able to talk to your partner about the situation and hopefully do so in a conductive manor. It’s not a very good idea to just lose it and begin cursing and throwing things (no matter how strong the urge is) because at that point they can use those actions against you- accusing you of being unstable and justifying their own foul actions in their mind as a result of this.
There is another option when it comes time to share those raw emotions and it comes in the form of an open community with others who share your affliction. In a case like this we offer a place on the most popular social platform on the planet… Facebook. Check it out:
Get some outside help
It might not be within everybody’s means but if you can seek the professional help of a counselor then doing so may be a good option to help rebuild trust and form an even stronger bond than before. Of course both parties need to agree to this and be willing to work things out but in the event everyone is willing then seeking out local help could be a big step forward.
Build a better future together
There are two important factors to take into consideration after an incident of cheating and they are…
- Re-establish trust
- Your children’s future
It’s almost always a better option to work things out and find a way to move past this thing which has torn your relationship and trust apart. It requires both of you to be trustworthy in order to not only gain back mutual trust but keep it for the future of not only both of yourselves but any children you might have together.
Saving a marriage will almost always benefit your children. If you can keep your home intact and work on things over time, hopefully growing happy with one another again then the end result will most certainly be better than a split up of the family unit. There is a tendency to say things like “If I’m not happy then my children won’t be happy” and that is not necessarily true.
If both parents are good at what they do then your children will appreciate that and a split will weigh heavily on all parties involved, including them.