You’ve met the man of your dreams and are getting ready to tie the knot, what a wonderful thing that is. The fact of the matter is that we all come some sort of baggage and for some it’s their family. Are they just a minor annoyance? Are they going to be a huge pain in your side with their toxic behavior? It’s a really important thing to get this sort of thing sorted before you actually go off and get married so you can be assured that your happily ever after won’t be side tracked by the evil in-laws.
Is your mother-in-law antagonizing you?
The relationship between mother/daughter in-laws is something so common place they even make movies about it. Statistics show that something like 60% of women struggle to get along with their mother in-law while only 15% of men carry that same burden. If dealing with the in-laws is a problem for you right now just imagine how it might get later in life. There is always the chance she’ll come around but I wouldn’t count on it, not completely anyhow. The real deal breaker might not even be her but how your significant other deals with it all. If differences become conflict does he step in and mediate the situation in an attempt to diffuse it? If he doesn’t then that could be a problem.
Is he just a little too close to his family?
It might seem really sweet that he’s so close to his mother at first, and no doubt it definitely is sweet anytime a man has a close and loving relationship with his own mother. The problem however shows up when he starts going to her for practically every little detail. Is he constantly taking her advice over yours? Does he run to her anytime the two of you have a spat or disagreement? There could be some rough roads ahead of you if he’s always picking her to comfort him over you- just something to consider before you make things final and he goes from “husband-to-be” to full blown husband status.
Is your fiancés family abusive toward him or each other?
It’s been shown that the relationships we have with our families form how we treat others in the world. It’s pretty safe to assume that if your husband to be comes from a broken home, or an environment where there seems to be some sort of pecking-order then you’re probably in for the same once the deal is sealed and you two are married. Try to observe how your in-laws act around each other when there’s conflict. Does there seem to be something unhealthy about it?
Is there a history of substance abuse in his family?
Finding out that your fiancé comes from a background of addiction is a pretty big red flag. Where there is substance abuse in the family there is usually other abuses and you might be dealing with a pretty damaged individual. That’s not to say he hasn’t risen above it, you would know him better than most after all. However, if you happen to observe some things that just don’t sit right with you then you may be in the right to consider a 2nd thought before finally getting hitched.
Does his mother expect grandchildren?
Maybe you don’t want to have kids; it is your choice after all. If he has a mother who’s constantly nagging him to produce those adorable little offspring then he might start to buckle to the pressure and you’ll hear about it eventually. This could put a major damper on your relationship where it simply shouldn’t be in the first place. It’s not anybody’s decision to make children but yours and his together.