Here Is How To Get Anyone To Spill Their Secrets
You just can’t seem to shake the feeling that someone you know, or are getting to know has that slightly askew vibe to them. You’re not typically the suspicious type but no matter what you say to try convincing yourself, you just can’t shake that feeling.
This could be your friend whom you perhaps just began noticing a subtle shift in the way they carry themselves, or how the interact with you. Maybe it’s a family member, maybe it’s someone you’re considering getting serious with… or who knows, it just could be your very own wife or husband?
No matter the case or who it is that you simply “can’t shake that feeling” from, there’s probably one important issue which is that you can’t just out-right accuse them of anything, or go around every corner stalking their every move hoping to discover what’s really up; that would just be weird, and though it’s understandable that you want more information, there are a lot better ways of obtaining it- like right here.
Building your case with background checks
Everybody does them for a whole slew of reasons. You get them when you take on a new job, or if you’re signing a lease to move into a new apartment. Background checks are a valuable tool used by anybody who simply needs a solid foundation of details on any particular person and that’s just the facts Jack!
Once you’ve dug up the goods you can then take it forward from there, or decide to drop this person completely due to some super shady stuff you’ve discovered about them and their past, it’s totally up to you.
Plug the holes with social media
A decent background check can get you quite a bit of intel on somebody but if you need to fill in the blanks then you might want to start with that persons’ social media presence.
Were you aware that thanks to Facebooks handy little search-bar you can ask it just about anything and Facebook will spit out a bunch of information you maybe didn’t even know about.
It’s possible that by just asking Facebook general questions like:
- Recent photos of my co-workers that were taken at bars
- Or… Pages my wife/husband/spouce/partner likes
- Photos taken by “enter name here”
- Photos liked by “enter name here”
- The list really goes on and on… find idea by digging around on Google 😉
It’s even possible often times to see if someone likes or uses Tinder by just asking Facebook! I bet I just frightened a few of you, but hey- it’s better to know this stuff than not know it, am I right?
Garner more trust between you and them
It’s no secret that trust goes both ways, that’s just a fact of life. If you really, truly want someone to be totally honest with you then you need to be a bit candid about your own history. When you open up it sparks something inside most of us that makes us just want to relate and open up too. Demonstrate you trust them more and more with each “shared secret” and you’ll find that in no time they’ll start telling you things you never imagined they might- of course, it always helps to have more information to back you up.
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Lock that vault & don’t be a gossip
This goes hand in hand with what I mentioned just above; keep secrets and don’t go blabbing them off any opportunity you get. Nobody is going to give you their trust for long and all it takes is once time for you to break that trust and they might never share anything with you ever again- or they’ll simply be extremely selective of what they tell you vs. what they choose to share with those they actually trust.
Don’t be so quick to judge
A lot of times people don’t want to share things because they’re worried about backlash. Nobody wants to spill the beans on something only to get “that look” and feel like they’ve just made a huge mistake!
That’s why it’s up to you to keep your responses tempered and reasonable. The more someone feels like they can come to you with anything and not feel threatened, the more they’ll actually start doing it… be supportive.
Putting it all together
You’re not always going to know it all, there will be times when someone just won’t tell it like it is and that’s usually because it’s something they really don’t want you to know about.
This is where all the suggestions above come into play as one uniform solution. If you’ve done your research, if you’ve got their trust and you know enough then you might have to resort to a bit of trickery for the greater good.
Take the things you know, spin them into what you think they mean, concoct a story and share it… let them know that you already know (even if you really don’t) and go “fishing” for details in a semi-sneaky way. Don’t judge, don’t make them feel like it’s some kind of an attack, but instead come from a place of concern for them or the both of you, make them feel like the most important thing right now in this moment is just airing out the laundry so you’re both on the same page.
If they still give you nothing then you might need to resort to even sneakier tactics and that’s where this handy little service comes in.
3 thoughts on “Here Is How To Get Anyone To Spill Their Secrets”
Can I ask you a question, I’ve been going out with this guy off and on for 11 yrs. I’ve got a problem with him calling this other woman to go out to bars but not me his GF he says they are just friends but they text each other non stop day and night. He says they just friends…… Tonight same shit me at home he’s out with her and probably won’t be here till 3/ 4 in morning as usual. My. Question is am I wrong I really do think something is going on but he won’t talk to me about it either.
Hey there. Liv here. I know you posted this several months ago and I can only assume that since you said this has been going on for 11 years that nothing has changed…yet? I’ll start with some simple questions/ideas. Have you ever gone out together? The 3 of you? What about the 4 of you? Does she have a man at home? How does he feel about this? How does she act towards you when you are around? How often do the 2 of them go out together on these “undates”? And they text each other all day? Hmmm….just wha?…friends? Honey, I am sorry, but fuck that shit!!! It was innocent being “just friends” back in elementary school. And sure there are SOME rare exceptions as adults to have a genuinely platonic relationship with the opposite sex. We are sexual creatures by nature. We are made this way. Even if no lines have been crossed (which would be amazing in itself since what, other than a cigarette goes better with alcohol/drinking than sex?) let us not forget about sexual innuendo. A non verbal sexual “energy” coming from 1 of them or both of them that has yet to b discovered or explored. I don’t mean to be cynical but fuck that shit. If he wants you as his woman he needs to put you first. Always. If time with you isn’t as important than time with her. It is time to start building your social media empire. Because you too could use a friend. Or three,…heyyyy! But really…We teach people how to treat us. Xoxo
Ive been with a man I called my boyfriend for 21 years he is 9years younger than me,he’s 45 and lives with his mother .we we’re living together up until 5yrs ago,I know he is always going out with other women even let this one chick put her pic on fb.it was in my face and I still stayed with him hoping he would dump her ,she new about me ,I guess he was lieing to her too,I really dont but she ended up being A Crazy ass chick,they stop I think seeing each other,so I let it go in a way,five yrs later im not over it so,I just stop all calls blocked him on everything,the thing is that I still hurt ,I have a date on Saturday for the first time ,im trying to move on,but im not into it im not as excited as I should be.When he the ex started that relationship with that crazy chick he had to be over me ,when it’s over for me IT’S OVER so why dose he still want to be with me tell me he loves me he misses me.Why is this happening why hang in there when it’s over and there my ex is always looking for someone else,I believe it’s pure evil.what do you think.
Yours truly Older than him