Sadly, failing to recognize the importance of compatibility and understanding in a relationship is becoming an inevitable habit amongst the people of our generation today. Since the world has gone tech-wise, and with the advent of online communication channels like social media, building a relationship has now become a piece of cake. Little wonder why there are so many failed marriages today.
The fact is, we’ve neglected to recognize that there is an enormous difference between dating and marriage. And one of the most pronounced difference is the harsh reality between them. Of course, one can pretend all they want during courtship, but will only take a couple of years for such mask of pretense to fall off after marriage. So today, we’ll be pondering on why married people cheat and how to understand the mystery behind this contradiction.
If any institution should ever stand a chance of succeeding, then a good foundation must be laid. And what do we mean by having a good foundation? Having a good marital foundation simply implies that the couples involved will have to share things in common other than love. Yes, love.
In contrary to the adage that love is all one needs to help a marriage survive, understanding and compatibility supersedes it. Unfortunately, love is not enough, it has never been enough, it only feels enough during courtship, but needs to be accompanied by understanding and compatibility, if such unions seeks to survive the storms of infidelity.
The reason why most married people cheat is because, they married out of love. The problem with this is that, when the loves dies of which it will, what happens next? At this point more often than not, the couples involved, start feeling like total strangers to themselves if they were never compatible, and thus search outside for alternatives which may lead to infidelity.
Another reason why most married people cheat is because of man’s earthly god “money”. Indisputably, a lot of people marry on financial basis, as some see it as a gateway to an emancipation of their financial burdens.
Unfortunately, this is one of the worst reasons for one to get married and I’ll explain. Getting into a marital union because of money often spurs up disrespect, and once this sets in, one partner will automatically become subordinate to the other. And most often than not, the superior amongst the two, usually the one with the financial buoyancy will now have a feeling of doing whatsoever they want, cheating inclusive.
After all, you’re enjoying the money you came for, so you forever remain indebted to the person, without a say of your own in the marriage. As harsh as it may sound, a lot of people are secretly going through this right now, and my candid advice to them is that they should get busy, find something doing and become financial independent, in order to emancipate themselves from such shackles.
As weird as this may sound, ignorance plays a pivotal part in why some married people cheat, this time the men especially. I’m sorry to put it this way, but men that think that sleeping with a plethora of women is a success on their own part or makes them more of a conqueror are the most naive set of people.
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Sleeping with women other than your spouse doesn’t do any better, than portray your sense of indiscipline and level of ignorance. So for the men who think that sleeping with ladies other than their wives is just another norms a regular guy should do, you might want to reconsider your perception.
The last but not the least on the reasons why married people do cheat is revenge. And to better understand this point, we’ll have to cast our minds back to when I said understanding and compatibility supersedes love in a marital union.
I’ve received tons of email from subscribers who told me their husband cheated on them as a revenge gesture. And as silly as that may sound, it is actually true. Married people do cheat just to take revenge on their spouse, perhaps after an argument or misunderstanding.
Nevertheless, there is no cogent reason and no magnitude of misunderstanding that should ever cause a married person to cheat on the other. This is true because such revenge does nothing, other than to destroy marriages. Be it as it may, irrespective of the points mentioned above, there is no justifiable reason whatsoever to why any married person should cheat, because it never ends well for such a union. Just as Patti Callahan Henry said, “Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up”.