Long distance relationships can be hard. From the constant longing for their physical presence, to the constant desire to always be in communication at all times because you just can’t get enough (which is again a direct result of their not being with you in person).
There’s no doubt that those warm & fuzzy feelings you get are a joy each and every time you’re in touch, but there is also that ever-looming curiosity way deep down in the back of your mind “are they being faithful to me?” It’s hard, we all know it is, when date night consist of a Skype call meanwhile all your friends with “real boyfriends and girlfriends” are over at each other’s places doing all the things you and your love can only talk about.
Worse yet is when you start to wonder during those times your partner gets a little too busy for your liking. You just can’t help but say to yourself all those things you don’t want to admit, but can’t help but feel “just maybe they are.”
Signs that cheating is present in a long distance relationship
It doesn’t matter if you’re near or far, cheaters perform pretty much in the same way. The obvious difference in this case being that it’s much harder to find out if they’re actually cheating on you or not. Here are some signs to look out for:
- They no longer wish to hop on those video chats you hold so dear. Actual phone calls become more and more scarce and before very long you notice a giant wedge driven between the two of you. No more late night calls “just cause” and that goes double for video. It’s so much easier for them to lie to you when they don’t’ have to see you, and you can’t see their face.
- You notice more friends (usually of their preferred sex) pop up. Pay close attention to things that go on between your love and these new people. Things like playful banter that seems out of place, perhaps that other person is actually in their physical location, you’ll see them start to pop up in pictures. You can check if your other half is being tagged in other pictures by simply searching on Facebook for things like “pictures (insert name here) is tagged in”. Google ideas to search for.
- They haven’t acknowledged your relationship publicly or on Facebook.
- Communication between you two has slowed down and maybe even gaps begin to form where they weren’t before. Instead of hours going by its days between replies. That’s usually an indication they’re considering ghosting, and nobody likes that, it just completely sucks.
What should you do?
You think that they’re cheating on you, you want proof, what are your options?
This depends on the foundation of the relationship. If it’s someone you were once in a close proximity relationship with, complete with mutual friends and such then you might be able to get information fed to you from willing mutual parties.
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If you’re relationship started online then it’s going to be a bit harder and you’ll have to do all the foot-work but here are some ideas you can think over:
- Go back to social media, check out their photos and see what their body language is telling you to see if you have anything you may need to be worried about.
- If it’s possible, plan a visit, and if it’s even more possible… make it a surprise visit! You should brace yourself just in case you do wind up discovering something is afoot, but at least you’ll have undeniable, concrete proof. Just be sure you don’t break the bank to go break up with a cheater in person- they just don’t deserve that satisfaction.
- What if you can’t do any of this and you’re stuck?
You might need to get creative at this point. Do a Google search on their name; see if you can find any old social media profiles they might have left behind. Dig up any aliases they go by in other places, check for different profile names, email addresses, literally anything you can Google to find even more information. This is a bit of a rabbit hole, but it doesn’t take more than a few hours tops and you could wind up shocked at what you discover.
But what if I find proof?
I know it’s sad to find out that the one you love just doesn’t love you back in the same way anymore. They might say they do, but let’s be real here. If they’re cheating on you, that’s not love, its greed and you don’t need to subject yourself to such hurtful things from someone you thought was supposed to be there for you.
What makes it even worse is the fact that all that time you could have been out and about, enjoying your single life, hooking up and making matches with people who truly are worth a damn!
I know it’s easy to talk yourself into sticking around, maybe you give yourself that age old excuse of “but I love them” or whatever, fine. In the end it’s all completely up to you. Just be sure to do your best not to jump to conclusions before you’re absolutely certain you’re right. We don’t want you to do anything in haste that could make you out to be the bad guy.
There is a tool that’s great for finding more information if you happen to have phone numbers handy, maybe you were able to get ahold of your partner’s phone and took down some numbers which seem ‘suspect’.