3 Ways to Save a Relationship or Marriage
Is your relationship or marriage struggling? If so what can you do?
Are there specific actions we can take in order to “save a relationship?”
Many people make millions of dollars helping others “save their relationships” but is it really as complicated as they make it seem?
Here are three easy things you should try first before you spend hundreds on overpriced marriage counselors…
1. Let Your Partner In
Well, we don’t need a doctorate degree in relationship psychology to assume that it’s more than a coincidence that your relationship started to suffer when you started keeping your big, juicy secrets from your partner….or vice versa.
No matter how naturally intuitive someone happens to be, most people in a relationship can tell when our partner is withholding information from us.
If you’re afraid to tell your partner something (that you don’t like your job any more, that you don’t feel sexually desirable, that you miss how much you used to touch each other in a non-sexual way, etc.) and it’s weighing heavily on your mind, then your best bet is to TELL THEM.
Tell them that you want to tell them about it because you love them so much and you want to get it off of your mind so that you can feel closer to them again.
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2. Plan a sex date
Sex is an important piece of a healthy relationship. By sex it doesn’t mean just intercourse. Sex can mean a bunch of different things to many different people.
Sex is usually the first thing to go when your relationship starts to dwindle… and this is too bad. Sex can be looked as your body’s way of communicating.
Good, connected sex can offer breakthroughs in your relationship and usually gets things back on track for a short period of time….but the more sex you have the easier it is to communicate with each other…
So grab your calendar. Plan a long sex date. Spoil them, and get spoiled.
Turn off your phones, and tv. If you need to get a babysitter do it. Get rid of all of your distractions.
Make passionate love, in whatever way makes the most sense to the both of you. You don’t have to wait for all of your communication to be perfect before you can have insanely fulfilling sex. Often you need to sexually connect first, and then communicate afterwards.
3. Clear out old resentments
Little things tend seem build up over time in any relationship.
Maybe they did something that hurt you months ago and now its snowballed.
Whatever resentments you might have against your partner, you must move past them so your relationship can go to it’s next layer of depth.
First, you must forgive. This will remove most of the emotional charge surrounding the event on your mind. For many, this is easier said than done.
First things first you MUST question whether or not you know the full story (hint: you don’t… you only know your interpretation of that event)
Once you’ve done all of the work that you’re able to do on your side, bring the issue to your partner and invite calm dialogue around that thing that hurts for you.
Tell them “Hey, I’ve been thinking about something that feels a little bit unresolved for me. I’m doing my best not to hold it against you, and I’d love to hear your side of things regarding _____. The story I’m telling myself about it is that (this happened) and (that happened). Can you tell me what was happening in that situation on your side?”
It could be hard to speak about, but it might just be one of the most freeing things that you’ve ever done for yourself and your relationship.
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Summary:
It’s time to take your relationship back, and make it a priority to do what needs to be done. If you want it to work as well as it did in the beginning or even better than it was in the beginning, it all starts with your intention (and is carried out in your actions).
I want to save my marriage
I’ll marry you Olivia
I want to save our relationship
I heard that chick!! In going thru the same situation but its my cheating girl of seven years. I put the truth in front of her and she still tried to manipulate the facts. What a scorned woman! I just hope it doesn’t tear her up I side later
I found out he had several other relationships, on my birthday he got a text and he refuses to tell me anything about it he said he doesn’t want to talk about it, it’s the past but after research I know he is still doing it. I want out relationship to work he tells me he wants it to work to. He tells me he is tired of me trying to ask about what happened. I had know idea that it was going on for so long. I just don’t know how to move forward when he keeps telling me different stories but won’t communicate with me. He just looks at me when I told him how I feel and I’m hurt and asked what I can do or change. I
He says I hear u but I don’t have anything to say.
First off I want you to know I’m the cheater in my situation here. So it be up to you to read any further. I cheated on my girlfriend of now 3 years off and on for the past year. She found out that I had been sleeping with my ex of almost 13 years. It was not good. I hadn’t cheated in almost a year and it was hard to take in so I stay in denial. I didn’t want to admit to it because at this point I was crazy in love with the one I had cheated on. It may not seem right to say but I was more tore then I think she was. See I believe this woman to be my soulmate and it hurts me to the core to think that I hurt someone that special to me. Well it’s been over a year now since she separated from me. We’ve tried several times to make it work. The problem now is I believe she’s cheating on me. I know that most of y’all don’t think I deserve a chance but if you only seem us before the break up and see us now. I believe most would do anything to fix this which is what I been doing and will still do till she tells me I don’t have a chance. For me to give up. I don’t want to give up. Any help… Tganks
U should give up because if she is thinking like me she is probally trying to get secured in the new relationship before she tells u. One of the dealiest thing a man can do is cheat on his woman. Wen that happens she ll wait for the perfect moment to take her revenge
I believe most relationships go through trauma from one or the other cheating at least one time. It’s how y’all want to pursue the real ion ship after that. For me I stayed but I didn’t forgive and now five years later we’re jist now working through his cheating. I’ve never cheated on him. My point is this…. if your going to stay with the one who cheated and ya say you wana work it out then you have to put it in the past or you’ll live with it, fighting over it for years to come til your both so torn apart there is no hope left for a good marriage or relationship. Can’t sweep problems under the rug. They always come up in the dust multiplied and axagerated much more the the situation has credit for. I chose to stay coz I love my husband but if he isn’t over that stage by now he never will be and I’ll be forced to do what I have too.