Things are easier said than done, and when it comes to forgiveness the case is no different. Hitting the nail on the head, forgiveness gets even tougher when we get hurt by the ones we love the most.
And the sad reality is that, irrespective of how much we tend to condition our minds into thinking that our partner won’t hurt us, in the long run, they eventually will.
However, it doesn’t matter who hurts us or how much hurt gets inflicted on us, be it from our partners or lover, the question is, how do we respond to it.
It gets even scarier if the person we loved the most like in the case of a life partner cheats on us sexually with another person.
So because of this, we’ll be focusing our resources today on how we can forgive our partners no matter the level of offense they commit against us, like in the aspect of infidelity.
What is forgiveness?
To have a better understanding of what we’ll be discussing, we’ll first have to define what we mean by the keyword “forgiveness”.
As defined by the Miriam Webster dictionary, forgiveness is simply the “the act of forgiving”. Invariably, it means if you wish to forgive, you’ll first have to follow its golden principle which entails that forgiveness doesn’t mean you are weak but just another sign of strength.
Let’s put it this way, if you don’t practice the art of forgiveness from a very early stage even before courtship or during courtship, you’ll end up finding it difficult to forgive when you’re married.
Everything is a process and forgiveness on it’s own is no different. You have to practice to be good at it because, they might come a time when you’ll have to forgive someone who offended you so deeply and it if by any chance you weren’t accustomed to the art, it will become more of a daunting task.
So that being said how then can we learn to forgive and love again even when we’ve been hurt.
If there is anything that makes forgiveness easier is the virtue of open mindedness. It takes an open minded person to forgive when they have been deeply hurt.
But if you weren’t born with this virtue, how then can you cultivate it? It’s quite simple, all you can do to imbibe this nature is by staying positive always, avoiding the harboring of grudges, and always knowing that no one is perfect.
Only by practicing these three arts will you then understand how it feels to be an open minded person. And once you become open minded, knowing that every human have flaws and are bound to make mistakes, your cheating partner inclusive, only then will you be able to forgive and heal your relationship with your spouse when they offend you knowingly or unknowingly.
The reverse is the case for people that are not open minded.
Other than being open minded, love is the next on the list of priorities for forgiveness. In a relationship it is important that both partners or at least of them strives to keep the love candle burning. This is not just to make the relationship romantic, but so that in case anything comes up that will require forgiveness, then it’d be easy for one to forgive the other.
Love is forgiveness, just like Mother Theresa said, “if we really want to love, we must first learn to forgive “. So, in order to be able to forgive our spouse even in the face of infidelity, we must always make sure that our love for them don’t die off. It is important than most people do view it.
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Lastly, in order to have the ability of forgiveness, you have to know the benefit that comes with it. Do you know how burdensome it is to hold a grudge, and worst case scenario, a grudge against a loved one who hurt you? I believe its heavier beyond analysis.
Nevertheless, if you forgive, you’ll stand the chance of emancipating yourself from this gravid burden, and believe me, there is nothing more lifting than having that feeling of an in depth happiness without any form of grudge in your heart. It’s such an unbridled feeling.
Forgiveness is one of the reason why most experts recommend marital union for adults with matured minds. As an adults, you should get into the understanding that keeping malice is old fashioned and childish(immature). Thus, if you get offended by your spouse, be it infidelity or in any other area, bring the issue to the table for discussion, and solve it. That’s what makes us adult, its what differentiates our love from high school love stories.