Why Staying Faithful seems hard

Yes its hard running pass the legendary Usain Bolt, especially when it came to one of his trademark 100 meters dashes. But guess what’s harder? Guess what people consciously pretend to have under their control which they don’t?

As humans, we love to assume that we have a lot of things under our whims and caprices, things like staying faithful to our partners.

But while some people often chose to see themselves as demi gods who always have total control over everything in their lives, faithfulness inclusive, the reverse is often the reality.

The reason why it gets even harder is because we’re humans, and as mortals who are not impeccable, we’re all bound to make mistakes. And unfaithfulness is a mistake, just that this time, it is what I would call a “conscious mistake”.

That being said, we’ll be dwelling today on the virtue of faithfulness, get to find out why staying faithful is hard and why accolades should be given to those who practice it fervently. So without further ado, let’s get right into it.

 

The Golden rule

Before we proceed into our main discussion, which is “why its hard being faithful”, it is important that we first get the golden principle guiding the theory of faithfulness, which is that,there is nothing like being “half faithful” in faithfulness. It’s either you’re faithful to your partner or you’re not. There is no in between.

That being said, why do partners find it hard to stay faithful?

 

Human Nature

We just can’t help it. Its pointless nagging over a cheating partner because if proper attention is being paid, you’re as guilty as he is, just that in this case you’re the victim.

By nature, humans are born to be over zealous and never to be contented. Lets take for instance people in the political sphere. No matter how hard they try, their cheating and selfish nature keeps pushing them to contest for extra tenures in office.

So, if you come across any faithful partner, then you should understand that such a person had to fight their natural human instinct of dissatisfaction and greed.

Thus, most people tend to struggle with the issue of faithfulness, not that they don’t have the will power to do so, but because its in borne in them. Its hard to fight what nature gives.

Nevertheless, that is no excuse for you to stop trying at being faithful to your spouse. Keep working on it and one day you’ll cross the line.

 

Ignorance

The reason why staying faithful seems to be somewhat hard to many is because they are ignorant of the fact that it is a choice.

Staying faithful is a choice, and if you choose to stay faithful, then you will. However, just like in every decision we make, you must be ready for the cross that leads to the crown.

By that I mean, the sacrifices you’ll have to undergo in the course of staying faithful. Truth be told, its never an easy path, but it is a possible one.

 

Religion

You’d have to pardon me, but in reality some religions do contribute to why men, this time, find it hard to stay faithful.

Some religions outrightly support polygamy, and this is where most unfaithfulness habit starts. Giving a man the feeling that he can marry as many wives as he can, will not only limit such persons to staying with their wives alone, but with other outside ladies, invariably making the habit of staying faithful a more daunting task for such men.

As such, my candid advice to such persons is that, you have to always endeavor to create a bridge between your personal relationship and beliefs because, most often than not, decisions made out of sympathy or influenced by religious ethics often hampers on the health of any union or relationship either in the areas of infidelity or trust.

 

Adage

Last but not the least, faithfulness is portrayed to be hard because it has become an adage. As such, it has made people to think that such is the reality, when it really isn’t.

Of course, growing into a society where staying maritally faithful has been portrayed as being almost impossible, you’d understand why most people view it this way.

Nevertheless, it’s important for one to know that staying faithful in a relationship is something anyone can do if they have their minds made up. There is nothing like impossibility in the virtue of faithfulness.

So, when next you come around anyone trying to paint faithfulness as a hard-to-develop virtue, put it to them that everything in faithfulness boils down to who wants it more and how bad they want to stay faithful whether in their relationship or social interactions. It’s a choice!

Things are easier said than done, and when it comes to forgiveness the case is no different. Hitting the nail on the head, forgiveness gets even tougher when we get hurt by the ones we love the most.

And the sad reality is that, irrespective of how much we tend to condition our minds into thinking that our partner won’t hurt us, in the long run, they eventually will.

However, it doesn’t matter who hurts us or how much hurt gets inflicted on us, be it from our partners or lover, the question is, how do we respond to it.

It gets even scarier if the person we loved the most like in the case of a life partner cheats on us sexually with another person.

So because of this, we’ll be focusing our resources today on how we can forgive our partners no matter the level of offense they commit against us, like in the aspect of infidelity.

 

What is forgiveness?

To have a better understanding of what we’ll be discussing, we’ll first have to define what we mean by the keyword “forgiveness”.

As defined by the Miriam Webster dictionary, forgiveness is simply the “the act of forgiving”. Invariably, it means if you wish to forgive, you’ll first have to follow its golden principle which entails that forgiveness doesn’t mean you are weak but just another sign of strength.

Let’s put it this way, if you don’t practice the art of forgiveness from a very early stage even before courtship or during courtship, you’ll end up finding it difficult to forgive when you’re married.

Everything is a process and forgiveness on it’s own is no different. You have to practice to be good at it because, they might come a time when you’ll have to forgive someone who offended you so deeply and it if by any chance you weren’t accustomed to the art, it will become more of a daunting task.

So that being said how then can we learn to forgive and love again even when we’ve been hurt.

 

Open Mindedness

If there is anything that makes forgiveness easier is the virtue of open mindedness. It takes an open minded person to forgive when they have been deeply hurt.

But if you weren’t born with this virtue, how then can you cultivate it? It’s quite simple, all you can do to imbibe this nature is by staying positive always, avoiding the harboring of grudges, and always knowing that no one is perfect.

Only by practicing these three arts will you then understand how it feels to be an open minded person. And once you become open minded, knowing that every human have flaws and are bound to make mistakes, your cheating partner inclusive, only then will you be able to forgive and heal your relationship with your spouse when they offend you knowingly or unknowingly.

The reverse is the case for people that are not open minded.

 

Love

Other than being open minded, love is the next on the list of priorities for forgiveness. In a relationship it is important that both partners or at least of them strives to keep the love candle burning. This is not just to make the relationship romantic, but so that in case anything comes up that will require forgiveness, then it’d be easy for one to forgive the other.

Love is forgiveness, just like Mother Theresa said, “if we really want to love, we must first learn to forgive “. So, in order to be able to forgive our spouse even in the face of infidelity, we must always make sure that our love for them don’t die off. It is important than most people do view it.

 

Benefit

Lastly, in order to have the ability of forgiveness, you have to know the benefit that comes with it. Do you know how burdensome it is to hold a grudge, and worst case scenario, a grudge against a loved one who hurt you? I believe its heavier beyond analysis.

Nevertheless, if you forgive, you’ll stand the chance of emancipating yourself from this gravid burden, and believe me, there is nothing more lifting than having that feeling of an in depth happiness without any form of grudge in your heart. It’s such an unbridled feeling.

Forgiveness is one of the reason why most experts recommend marriage union for only adults with matured minds. As adults, you should get into the understanding that keeping malice is old fashioned and childish(immature). Thus, if you get offended by your spouse, be it infidelity or in any other area, bring the issue to the table for discussion, and solve it. That’s what makes us adult, its what differentiates our love from high school love stories.