If you find that you’re single more often than you’d like it isn’t necessarily do to any of the ‘typical’ things one might think. It could be a result of one or more of the reasons we’re about to discuss here in a minute.
You actually believe you’re “forever alone”
Not trying to get all new-age on your behind but there is some truth to that whole manifest destiny thing. If you truly believe in something for yourself then you’ll begin to see it form into your reality, that’s just how it works if you like it or not.
New habits will form to support your beliefs and this is typically a result of your own mind doing what it can to reinforce what it/you believe to be true. By thinking you’re “doomed to be always alone” you actually will be, and it’ll be your own damn fault!
You’re just not trying
Serendipity is a thing, and there is no doubt that we’d all love to have the love of our lives magically appear next to us as if you two were aboard the USS Enterprise and Scotty just happened to beam them right beside you- but life doesn’t work that way, not yet.
I know that the grind of always putting yourself out there can become a daunting task but the fact is that if you don’t at least make an effort when the opportunities arise- or even in the case you need to manufacture your own opportunities, actually trying for it is important.
This means that having a self-defeatist attitude isn’t going to do you much good. It also means that you’re going to have to find ways to get out there in front of your potential partner if you want to ever meet them. The options are open to you with things like online dating, classes of any type, bars; you might even meet someone in the grocery store like my ex did just three weeks after we split up! That was a fun story to hear about, but hey… it just goes to show you what could happen if you actually open yourself up to these experiences.
You’re not actually working toward anything
People don’t typically want to spend the rest of their lives (or even the next few weeks) with somebody they don’t feel adds genuine value to them in some way. It’s not like I’m saying you need to become the next brain surgeon or that you have to build a million dollar business or something, not at all. What I am trying to hint at is that you need to be working towards something solid, a foundation, something you can actually offer your future significant other if you want anyone who can do likewise for you.
Sure, you could always settle for someone to be a couch potato with all day long, and if that’s your thing then more power to you! But life is a series of events and responsibilities which require certain things to be in place. The usual suspects like a job, a roof over your head, some clothes so you don’t catch a charge for public indecency. Just work on getting your stuff together if you don’t have it already and you’ll see just how drastically your situation improves.
Your standards are just way too high
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your own standards, in fact it’s greatly encouraged. Thing is though, it’s possible to have standards in place which are so ridiculously high that no living person alive or dead could have a hope in hell of meeting them.
If you’re basing your standards for a mate on some character type you find in the movies or on your favorite television show it’s important to run them through a little reality check. This is real life which means you’re dealing with real people- they just can’t meet those standards because you, and they are simply not living in a scripted show where all the words you say and the things you do are predetermined through someone else’s imagination.
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It’s important to just go for it sometimes
There are going to be occasions when you just need to go for it and see what happens. Maybe you already have and it’s not worked out. Perhaps you’ve been in situations where you thought things were going great and then out of the blue you’re hit with a sneaking suspicion that your partner isn’t being quite up front with you.
Maybe, just maybe you want to be sure that you’ve got the person that you think you do. Though it would be a wonderful world if the people closes to us were incapable of lying, that’s just not how it really goes. The truth is, who knows for sure what will come from anything, and maybe this is one of the other things keeping you from finding your mate.
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