There is nothing as agonizing like knowing that the very one you’re sharing your matrimonial bed with, who is supposed to be the source of your joy is the one hurting you. No one loves to have a cheater as a partner, I mean, it’s so gross. You might get to be looking at them with total disgust whenever they talk to you. And from past experiences, it is often a matter of time before such a marital union hits rock bottom. Of course, once a partner is aware of the cheating status of the other, then distrust becomes inevitable.
Once there isn’t trust, the love gradually dies, and what will be left of them will be nothing than just their children, if they had one. Now, most partners even after finding out what their spouse is doing or did, often chose to stick around, not because of themselves obviously, but for the sake of their kids and their future. So, if you happen to find yourself in a situation like this, how do you cope with such a partner throughout your stay in the marriage, without taking actions that will jeopardize the mental health and future of your kids? This we shall be looking at as we go further.
From personal experience, the hardest part of times like this, are often visible in the early hours of the day, when you’d have to wake up and make breakfast for such a partner. I mean all of a sudden, what used to be a pleasurable task for you will turn to be a pain in the neck. Like, preparing a cup of coffee will seem as if you’re clearing a whole forest all by yourself. If you get to feel this way, don’t worry, it’s simply normal. However, with time you’ll probably get to adapt, only if you do these things.
Yes, forgive. Believe me, if you’re to stand any chance of staying in that home for a long time, you’ll have to forgive your partner, even if you don’t tell them that you have. Now, why is this important? Forgiving them in your heart will help you carry out your duties with ease, as you used to prior to your discovery of what they did. However, if you don’t forgive them, take it or not, you might be compelled one day to harm them. It is no fluke, it’s just the reality.
Focus in the future
Try as much as you can to avoid anything that will flash your mind back to the deed your spouse committed. Rather, focus in the future, and believe that there is a bright side to the story. If you’re there for the kids, look after them and don’t let anything alter your feeling towards them. In the end, you’ll be happy you did. But, if you keep remembering the deed, it’s going to be a matter of time before you’ll start taking irrational decision and actions which may be perilous to your home in the long run.
Join a Social Club
If you are a stay at home wife, then I’d suggest you spice things up a little bit. Trust me, staying at home all day isn’t any good for a condition like this. So what you’ll have to do is, go out, sign up for any social community or club, get to meet new people, interact, and make new friends. By so doing, the tension will be eased gradually until you’ll barely have a clue of what happened.
Nonetheless, if you stay at home all day, without getting to interact with new faces, then chances are that those memories will keep flashing in your minds, which may invariably perpetuate thought of payback in you. And believe me, you aren’t ready for any of that.
You might as well consider talking to a therapist if by chance you still feel perturbed. And when seeing one, ensure you get to see them on a regular basis, as that would help channel your mind into positivity.
Last but not least is openness. For all its worth, just try to be open with them while at home. Over time, you’ll get to see how sorry they are for what they did, and the marriage will keep living.
Infidelity in a marriage doesn’t have to spell the end of it. A lot of marriages today have survived the wreck of infidelity, and still moved on. You can stay with a cheating partner, yes it is very possible. It’s just a matter of if you really want the best for your marriage and the kids. The ball is in your court, toss it as you deem fit!